Prompt: "Speak now or forever hold your peace."
"If you move, I'll kill him."
"If you speak, I'll kill him"
The words were as cold as the muzzle of the gun pressed to the back of Ami's head.
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Ami's legs ached from standing for so long, waiting. She thought that soon they would cramp up and she would totter where she stood and then it would all be over. She forced her weary, trembling muscles to be still.
The house had been dark for several hours and she could no longer tell if her eyes were open or closed, save for when the constant stream of tears rolling down her face was interrupted briefly by a blink. She had lost track of time in the darkness, only her increasingly aching legs and her own panicked thoughts providing a point of reference to guess how much time had passed.
He wants something from Daniel.
Ami didn't know what it might be, but she was sure that the man behind her - who did not seem to share her weariness given the unwavering pressure of the gun at her head - would do anything to get it. Would he torture him? Yes, she was sure he would. He was perfectly willing to torture her by forcing her to stand immobile for hours while she waited for this man to threaten, torture, and then probably kill the man she loved.
The lock turned in the door and the hinges creaked quietly. Ami almost jumped, but fear gave her more self control than she suspected was humanly possible. The door pushed open and a figure stepped into the rectangle of dim light cast from the hallway. She knew Daniel even by his silhouette.
Robbed of her sight for so long, Ami's hearing felt preternaturally sharp. Though the gun never wavered from behind her head, she heard the slightest rustle of movement behind her. Daniel stepped into the room, navigating by the dim light of the hallway towards the table with the lamp on it. She knew the man with the gun would never let him reach it.
Ami felt a chill run down her spine, but rather than shivering her, it quieted her. Her breathing slowed to a stop, her legs ceased their quivering, even the tears stopped running down her cheeks. Ami opened her mouth and drew in the most important breath she had ever taken.
"Daniel, RUN!"
There was an explosion of silence. Ami didn't hear the expected crash of the gun, nor did she see the flash of the muzzle. It was a sudden peace that came over her. She no longer needed to hear the gunshot, or to feel her aching legs relax as she fell. She only needed her eyes a moment longer.
As her vision narrowed to a distant point she saw the oh-so familiar shape of Daniel disappearing out the door. Safe.
And then Ami no longer needed her sight.
4 comments:
Wow, that's an intense story. Your descriptions are very strong, lending potent tension to the story. Ami's death is portrayed very well as the end of the story; the resolution of the conflict. Even though the death is horrific, it is portrayed peacefully and is a good ending because she was successful in death.
My favorite line:
There was an explosion of silence.
I especially like the concept of this story for the prompt. It reminds me strongly of the Highwayman, one of my favorite poems. But on its own it stands strong too. Good job!
Loved it, babe. Just loved it. I got sniffly at the end. My only critique is this line: Robbed of her sight for so long, Ami's hearing felt preternaturally sharp. It made me wonder if she was blind by birth or in life, not just by the events of the story... The prose made it clear it was a recent thing, but I think the line could be restructured a little. Great story, love :)
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